Conversation Topics

Not only was my ex James unable to cross the street, pay a restaurant bill, flirt, or keep his hair nice, but he also was unable to think of good conversation topics.

One day, he messaged me on Skype and said this:

James: MY DOGS KEEP SHITTING EVERYWHERE. I don't understand how something so small can produce so much shit.

....Wow. Okay. First of all, that's disgusting. I don't want to hear about your dogs and their fucking shit. I'm your girlfriend for goodness sake. Talk about that with your best friend.

Second of all, I hate dogs. James knew that I hated dogs, and he still chose to talk about them to me.

Don't get me wrong, if you're a dog person, you're allowed to tell me information about your dog such as the name, age, breed, etc. You can even tell me a cute story about your dog. But I NEVER want to hear about anything disgusting involving a dog. Ever.

Let me back up here. When I was seven years old, my family went down to Texas to visit my aunt. My aunt had two dogs, and they were both mean and scary. First of all, I was really tiny as a kid, so whenever the dogs would get excited and jump on me, they would pretty much knock me over. Second of all, they barked loudly and frequently. So I was scared of the dogs in the first place, and then one of them had to go and fucking bite me in the leg and draw blood. When I hadn't done anything mean to it.

Ever since then, I have hated dogs. I will always hate dogs. Therefore, I do not want to hear about your dogs and how they shit everywhere.

Needless to say, that was the beginning of the end for me and James. That, and the fact that Mr. Math was single again. But I'll get to that.