Unfinished Business

The summer after high school, I dated a guy named T.J. I met him, in fact, on the day that I broke up with my first boyfriend, Jerome.

I was pretty upset, but I knew that the breakup was for the best. Jerome and I wanted completely different things out of our relationship, and also, out of life. I wanted a deep, meaningful relationship; he only wanted something extremely casual. He was very religious (Mormon), and I was, well-- not.

Anyway, I was scheduled to volunteer at the library booksale that evening. T.J. was also volunteering that night, and we started talking. We hit it off really well, and exchanged emails.

Soon after, we met up at Barnes & Noble for a date. We walked around, and then sat down and talked as we sipped our Starbucks coffees. We connected so deeply and so completely that I felt like we were already dating.

However, because he was still in high school, and I was leaving for college at the end of the summer, I made sure to ask him what he thought about long-distance relationships before anything became official. I wasn't about to start a relationship and then have it end two months later.

T.J.: I think long-distance relationships can work if both people are equally motivated.

Great! That was exactly what I thought about that.

...back then. Now, I know how wrong that was.

So we were on the same page about long-distance; the only further barrier was the matter of my friend Lara.

Lara had dated T.J. for awhile during our senior year. She was my friend, and I wanted to make sure that she would be okay if I started dating T.J.. I asked her about it, and she told me to go for it.

T.J. and I dated for the rest of the summer. It was wonderful. I had found the deep, meaningful relationship that I had wanted with Jerome. I had found someone who inspired me to be a better person, and to not give up on my hobbies (such as creative writing and running, to name a few).

Then, a few days before I left for college, T.J. broke up with me.

Me: What? I asked you specifically before we started dating what you thought about long-distance. You said you supported it!
T.J.: I meant that I support it for other people. I don't want it for myself. You're just going to cheat on me at school.

Excuse me? I have never cheated on any of my boyfriends. I like to consider myself a loyal companion. I never gave T.J. any reason to think that I would be unfaithful.

Apparently, it had nothing to do with me, but rather with his previous experiences of girls cheating on him during long-distance.

And so that was that. T.J. gave me a binder filled with his writing, in addition to memories from our relationship. It included the story that we began writing together, "The Adventures of Catwoman and Tuxedo Man." The story didn't even end with a complete sentence; it was as unfinished as possible. Just like our relationship.

Anyway, I went off to school and found Elton. And T.J.? He didn't date anyone for a year. But I'll get to that.