In 2009 and 2010, I had it bad for this guy Chris.
Chris and I met one day at work. When I got home, he had already friend requested me on Facebook. I thought it was cute that he had found me on there after only one day of knowing me.
Anyway, as I had now gone full-swing into my party-girl phase of college (after the Brendan/Robbie Cons fiasco), Chris offered me a place to hang out and drink, even mid-week. The Seven-Ten was where it was at. Good friends from work, fun, and drinks. It was heaven for a 20-year-old.
Chris would always walk me home at the end of the night. My dorm room was a long walk away from the Seven-Ten, but Chris never minded. He would always make sure that I didn't die on my way home from being too drunk, and he would start tickle fights, or, when weather appropriate, snowball fights.
Correction: Chris would always walk me home when his girlfriend, Bianca, was not at the party. Which was most of the time.
One such night, Chris came into my dorm with me and then started lying on my bed. I kicked him out, saying, "How would Bianca feel about this??!"
Chris left, and texted me on his way back home, saying, "Thank you for doing that. She wouldn't have have been too happy."
And things were fine, in this manner, until the summer. That summer, I fell for Chris, bad.
Chris was always a flirtatious person, and with me it was no exception. He would say things to me like, "Can I come over to your dorm? I am a sleepy guy, and I might need to take a nap..." Or how about, "I'll chain you to a bed and see how you like it."
Of course, I was stupid enough to fall for him.
One day, Chris invited me over to his apartment (that he and Bianca shared). I got really drunk, and we were watching a movie. Then, Joanna came over and dragged us to the club with her.
Once at the club, I started to feel very sick. I was pretty sure that I was going to puke, so I left the club. Chris took my phone and texted Joanna, saying "We left but don't worry. I'm taking care of her."
Oh my god. I still think that that was ridiculously cute.
Anyway, Chris brought me back to his apartment, and I immediately laid down on the couch. Chris was very sweet, brought me a glass of water, and held my hand.
Then, Chris said that his bed would be more comfortable for me than the couch, and he suggested that I sleep in there and he would sleep on the couch.
He guided me to his bed, and we both laid down. Chris began stroking my stomach, asking if that made the pain less.
Then, we had a heart-to-heart conversation. He told me that he really liked Bianca, but he said that she thought he was her knight in shining armor, and he knew that he wasn't. I asked him if he wouldn't rather be with someone who's knight in shining armor he actually WAS. Chris said maybe, but he thought that love was important too. Then he said, "You know... if I were single, and if I were a lot nicer, I would be your knight in shining armor."
And it was very much true. At the time, I was convinced that Chris was my soulmate. He understood exactly how I thought about things, exactly what it would take to make me happy, and exactly what to say when I felt like shit. He was so similar to me, but yet so different. While I cared about everything, he cared about nothing. In that way, we balanced each other out. He would give me the same advice that so many other people had given me before, only when he said it, it made sense. It was not condescending, like it was from everyone else. "Why should you care?" he asked me. "All caring does is make you upset. All caring does is make you unhappy. So why should you?"
When he said it, it was philosophical. It was contemplative. It made sense. Chris ended the conversation by kissing me on the cheek.
After that, I thought that I had a chance with him. After all, HE had been the one to point out that he could be my knight in shining armor.
Online a few days after, he asked me if I liked him. Not so bluntly of course, but that's what he meant. And I responded by saying, "Yeah, I really like hanging out with you."
However, the second part-- if he were a lot nicer-- was about to come into play. I was just chilling at the Seven-Ten a little later, and then Chris came up to me and was randomly really mean.
Chris: You don't understand me. I was mean to you. And why am I being unclear with my intentions? Because I don't have to be clear.
Then he stormed away, and I had a breakdown at the party. It was really bad actually. I couldn't stop crying. I felt so betrayed. Chris had been playing me all along, and he had no intention of breaking things off with Bianca for me. Plus, he admitted to knowing that he was leading me on the whole time.
As if that weren't enough, he had to go and tell Joanna and Lola all about his passionate love for Bianca, and how he was not going to leave her, but he might consider dating me if he were single.
God, what a fucking asshole.
Needless to say, I didn't talk to Chris for a full year. I was fucking pissed as hell, and I deleted him from my phone, my Facebook, and my life.
Eventually, we became friends again. We had a mutual friend, Miranda. Miranda gave me Chris's phone number one day in summer 2011, and we started talking again. I decided to let the past go. Plus, seeing him all the time at work had made me feel like we had some unfinished business.
And we did. More on that later.
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