After our breakup, T.J. justified his actions by saying, "Well, you started going out with Elton. So we wouldn't have lasted anyway."
Right. Since T.J. didn't stick with me after I left for college, I can't say for sure what would have happened with Elton. But what I do know is that my relationship with T.J. was much happier, healthier, and way more exciting than my relationship with Elton ever was.
In fact, the only qualities that Elton had that T.J. did not were the abilities to trust and love me.
I already knew that T.J. didn't trust me enough to try long-distance. I found out about the love part after T.J. started dating my friend Rory a year later.
Let's back up a minute. Rory used to date my best friend, Carl. After they broke up, Rory started going out with T.J. Only I didn't find that out from her.
Carl called me while I was on that horrible vacation with Elton and his family in California. We were both upset about the news and pissed off.
Why was I upset? First of all, my relationship with T.J. ended before its time. I was still wondering how things might have turned out if we had stayed together. Second of all, T.J. had been trying to get me to cheat on Elton with him. When I was home for Thanksgiving break, T.J. started a video chat with me, and told me that he wanted to see my legs, since they were what he liked best about my body.
Me: Oh right, okay. Then you have to show me your dick. *rolls eyes*
T.J.: Let's make this interesting.... *pulls dick out of pants and aims the webcam at it*
Me: *speechless*
T.J.: It's your turn now.
Me: No. I have a boyfriend.
T.J. Fine. *ends chat and logs off*
So either he still wanted me and regretted his decision, or he was just sad that I had moved on and he hadn't.
Either way, I hadn't been prepared for him to start dating one of my good friends.
So why was I pissed off? Rory never even mentioned to me that she was interested in dating T.J. She totally broke girl-code on that one. I'm not saying that I wanted her to ask my pemission to date him, but she should have talked to me about it like I had done with Lara. Something like, "Hey Veronica, I'm really interested in T.J. Would you be okay if I start dating him? You're my friend, and I don't want you to be upset."
Showing consideration like that would make anyone say that they would be okay with it, even if they weren't. If your friend cares about you enough to ask you about it, then you should care enough about her to want her to be happy with your old flame.
But no, not one word from Rory. She claimed that she didn't tell me about it because I was on vacation. Well, news travels fast. Bitch was probably too much of a weakling to talk to me.
Anyway, what I learned from T.J. dating Rory was this: T.J. had been hurt so many times from past relationships that he could not love his girlfriend. When Rory told him that she loved him, he responded by saying "No, you don't." He then went on to try to tell her how she could NOT possibly be in love with him.
That ended up ruining their relationship. So actually, I'm glad that it hadn't been me.
On the other hand, T.J. was a fucking asshole. He didn't stay with me when I went to college, but apparently he decided that Rory was worth staying with. They continued dating long-distance for their freshman year of college.
What a prick, seriously.
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