Hygiene, Part 2

Guys with long hair; sexy, or not?

For a guy with long hair to be sexy, the hair must pass four requirements:

1) Hair must be soft
2) Hair must be clean
3) Hair must be touchable
4) Hair must look good

Otherwise, you hereby forfeit your rights to having long hair!


My ex James had terrible hair. It looked so horrible and greasy that I didn't want to touch it. Ever. We were making out one night on his bed and his hair kept falling all over me.

James: You're not touching my hair!
Me: Um... yeah.
James: When a girl touches my hair, it drives me wild.

Well, good luck with that one James. First you need presentable hair before I will willingly touch it.

Anyway, it was so gross. I wonder if guys feel the same way about girls' hair touching them during a make-out or sex session. In any case, I'm glad that I have short fucking hair, because I wouldn't want to inflict that torture on anybody else.

In fact, even perfect strangers do it. Just yesterday I was on a fucking four hour bus ride, and the girl next to me was falling asleep in such a way that her hair kept brushing my shoulder. And then there are those women who sit in front of you on busses and have their hair cascading down the back of the fucking seat, and you have to stare at their fucking hair for four hours.

So therefore I revise my earlier statement to also include girls, although most of the girls whose hair gets everywhere actually have well-kept hair.

In conclusion, a PERSON'S long hair must first pass all the four requirements of sexy hair, and second it must be tied back or contained somehow so it doesn't get all over the fucking place and bother everyone sitting next to you (or having sex with you).